Sep 30, 2011

new beginnings... or not

I should be writing posts about Africa - and I promise I will - I have it all written in my journal, but life's been busy. First weeks of school, first dentist appointment of the year...
no, I should tell you the truth.
I've been hiding, hiding from my reality, into a more "normal" reality of a soon-to-be-22 years old girl.
I wanted to get some time with normal problems of normal people. I wanted to worry about school exams and be sad because I missed the last episode of TBBT.
I wished I could go to the mall and have a cup of coffee with a friend, I wanted to be that single, carefree girl who smiled and went to the art-classes every friday afternoon. I miss my old-self.
-running from reality.

I enjoyed having no internet for a while - it was a good excuse why not to write about Africa (I know I complained about having no internet all the time, but the truth is I didn't mind that much).
Than the idiot from the school computer centre fixed it and viola -here I am - online.

The reason why I'm not so eager to tell you about my second trip to africa is purely selfish. It just hurts too much to be away from my kids again. and when I write about it, it hurts even more.
I loved it in Kenya the first time - it was different, new and overwhelming.
Second time, it was perfect. Because now it is my home away from home.
That's why it hurts so much now, much more than I thought it was possible to hurt.

and sometimes when I get tired of my reality of worrying about kids and feeling homesick I wish for a while I .....

no, never mind. Africa was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will tell you about the second trip soon... :)


  1. It is perfectly reasonable to feel homesick and even a little lost in your 'real' life when you get back from a trip especially a meaningful one. Be easy with yourself. You can tell us(or not) when the time is right for you. Glad to hear you enjoyed the trip though.

  2. I'm looking forward to hearing of your return trip to Africa.