you know what?

forget about what I said. It wasn't true and I'm not fooling anyone, at least not myself.

can we just start over?

and this time I promise I'll tell you the truth.

I feel sad and empty and confused, but mostly sad.

but that's because of the lack of serotonin and not for the lack of love.

trust me, I know myself. let's blame it at PMS and stupid hormones :P

I just sometimes wish I didn't love him because it would have been so much easier right now

- just like I wish SOMETIMES I didn't go to Africa the first time - because everything would have been so much easier right now.

but no, I don't regret it happened. I just have bad days/weeks just like everyone else does from time to time.

so yes, I'm sorry but can you forget what I said?

still in love and still happy about it and I'm no longer going to try deny it. why should I?

and I don't care if he knows, if world knows, if someone cares. I have other things to worry about.

I DO LOVE HIM and what?

truly madly deeply.

and now I can laugh at myself, because it really is funny...at least I hope it will be one day - when I look back and tell stories about these days to my kids.