Dec 4, 2010

this and that

it's almost Christmas
-not enough to decorate tree yet, but enough to send out Christmas postcards and get first presents...

it was snowing outside and so we had fun like little kids

why is it always me who sits on the snow or does some other stupid thing?
but it was worth it...

...we're having pancakes tomorrow for lunch - I'll try NOT to post any photos here because my blog and fb account are starting to look like some cook-book or something...

and it's been "fun" at school (can you see that sarcasm in that?)
just exams and exams and exams and lectures and exams
but that's not what I wanted to talk about...

why is it that sometimes you get scared - for absolutely no reason - you're worried about someone you love. and you know there's nothing that could happen, but it just scares you to be away from them and not able to watch their every step.
it's terrifying - in the bad way...
not like some horror movie which you watch from time to time to get scared and then snuggle down in your comfy bed (hopefully with someone) and you feel good...
no, this is the bad scare. the one which makes you sit on your bed, with your cellphone right next to you, watching some movie you don't even know what-about and you know you'll have to wait at least 2 days to know if everything's fine with that person you love.
-absolutely stupid
and unreasonable fear,
but still so real
it keeps you away from sleep
and all you'll ever need
is just a small sign
that someone knows you care

and then the cellphone beeps and you realize you're breathing again and world is turning faster - to catch up with that lost distance from when it was standing still.

and now I can go to sleep.

I just wish I could be the guardian angel for someone - just to know all the time that my sun's still shining and stars are still hanged up on my sky. it's absolutely selfish wish...

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