from now till then and in between (or since I started my veterinary studies)

yarn along - knitting squares

2012-02-15T10:21:00.003+01:00

knitting another square :) for the blanket...
and school started again so all I'm reading are school textbooks :P

yarn along - baby blanket

2012-02-08T12:34:00.003+01:00

~ Two of my favorite things are knitting and reading, and the evidence of this often shows up in my photographs. I love seeing what other people are knitting and reading as well. So, what are you knitting or crocheting right now? What are you reading?~ Ginny

knitting big squares from left over cotton yarn - it's so soft and squishy - I'm using bigger needles than required and I'm going to add some minky fabric on the back so it will be minky/knitted blanket :)

reading Kisses from Katie - loving the book, it makes you think about our life standards and how we rely on material things and on ourselves - it teaches us to trust in Him and say Yes to our Lord every day.
LOVE IT

beautiful beautiful life

2012-02-03T22:51:00.003+01:00

so here's another post ablout
all the things I'm loving right now...

first of all I love being home - and seeing my sis again...

and I love Kisses from Katie - it's as if she was writing about my africa, just a little bit more intense and with much more courage to say Yes to God - I'll have to learn that from her...love the book
I love baking, and cooking, but mostly baking - and I love pies.

this one is an apple-chocolate pie (see the braided edge? - thank you pinterest for inspiration!)

the pie was gone really fast - didn't have time to snap more pictures, so behold, the only proof it actually existed...

I love my new peeling. Now, you might think Love is a little bit strong word for that, but it smells like fresh peach - it's as if you were rubbing summer all over your face!

love crocheting - seriously, how many crocheted blankets would be too much to have?

I have one for myself, and this one was my Christmas present for sis (she liked it - yay! handmade gifts rock!)
and my avocado experiment is going well, it was ripe after two days spent in a paper bag and I made d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s guacamole with it. yummers

(see the bracelet on the photo? I gave it to my friend for really late christmas this week - when I finally remembered it - and he loved it and thought it needs to be part of this photo...oh well, I'm not going to argue - it's always good to include a little bit of africa)

I had this song in my head for over a week.

I love watching modern family with mom and I love how daddy always points out the show on TV which I could like - like tonight, we watched a short documentary movie about africa - I love hearing their beautiful accent and see the beautiful people of Kenya.

LOVIN' MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE

Avocado experiment - day 1

2012-01-29T13:54:00.006+01:00

up to this day, I still don't understand why I didn't bring any authentic african avocado seeds from Kenya. I mean, I ate about a ton of avocados, or mangos and papaya - why didn't I bring any home?

I'm starting an experiment right now - growing avocado tree from the seed - I know it won't bear any fruit until you "graft" it but hey! I'm pretty sure there's a trip to Kenya some day in my future and I have an awesome uncle who can graft trees like a pro so all I need is a tree.

all I have is this.

far from ripe, so we need to be patient - I'm going to let it sit on my window sill for a week or so and then eat it. yumm
I'll post any updates here and I'm going to add a button on the right sidebar which will take you to all my avocado-related posts.

buy your own avocado and try to grow it - if you do, let me know how it goes :)

INTERNET says I should put it in brown paper bag with an apple to ripen it faster - I'm going to try that - we'll see

things I'm lovin' this week...

2012-01-26T20:17:00.007+01:00

still totally in love with my Africa and missing my kids terribly every day and I love writing and dreaming and remembering the days I've spent there (even though anonymous thinks it was selfish and bad thing that I went)

love Raphael - didn't listen to his songs for a long time but I remembered one today and I'm in love again...

love designing blankets (I'd love to knit this one - mitred squares - love all the possibilities)

still studying for Microbiology exam (and I would love it if it wasn't for the exam :P )
love the new set of stickers I made for myself - to decorate envelopes when I send my weekly newsletter to sis...

love getting mail! postcard and stickers from sis :) love you SIS!!!

wearing my legwarmers which went to me all the way to my africa and kept my legs warm during long rainy days...

loving pinterest funnies !!!

and loving that I found a little bit of time to update my fanfiction story again... I've missed writing.
:) what are you lovin'?

yarn along - left over yarn

2012-01-25T16:15:00.003+01:00

officially no more left over yarn (at least not here at school) ..I still have the double-knitted scarf on the needles, but apart from the blue and gray yarn, everything else's gone - and I have a couple more squares for my crazy blanket :)

can you believe it will be a year soon since I've started knitting and crocheting again!

still reading microbiology - for the exam (it's a hard one so if you could say a little prayer for me I'd really appreciate it)

thanks for visiting my blog :) now go over to Ginny's post to see all the beautiful creations from other knitters and crocheters :)

lovin'

2012-01-20T10:38:00.002+01:00

using some left over yarn to crochet more squares for my crazy blanket... it's awesome stash-burner - I'm running out of yarn!

we finally have some snow! wow I've been waiting all winter, and now I have to stay inside and study, but at least it's nice out there when I look through the window

Dan sent me link to this song and I've been listening to it non-stop ...lovin'it !

love my growing collection of colorful spoons, and love to see little bits and pieces of Africa all around my room - see the stoney Tangawizi bottle? it's from my first trip to Kenya :) ...and I kind of love all the dried apples and oranges I have all around the room :)

and my newly found love Green smoothies! yumm!

yarn along - hooded scarf

2012-01-18T10:09:00.004+01:00

I've finally finished my hooded scarf...
it's warm and squishy and perfect as "inside layer" for the hood of my winter jacket..

it's hard to capture the hue of the yarn, maybe it'd be better in the sunlight - but we have absolutely no sun these days...

still studying for the exams and waiting for the book Kisses from Katie , so I'm not reading anything right now...

what about you?

incense burner DIY

2012-01-17T14:59:00.004+01:00

safety first: ALWAYS put the incense burner on NON-inflamabe surface and never leave it without supervision!

what you'll need:

only can from some canned food - without sharp edge (I used the one which you open by pulling the lid)
one can from energy drink or some soda can (which can fit inside the first can
scissors
yarn

1.
when you pull down the paper from your can - there's usually a sticky layer of glue on one side - that's good, you're going to use that glue (if it's not there, you might want to use a stripe of double sided sticky tape)

2. stick one end of your yarn to the can and wrap it around all the way to the top (cutting the yarn in the place with glue so it won't unwrap)

3. cut your soda can in half and make little incisions on the bottom border - fold them outwards
then push the soda can inside the bigger can - thanks to the "wings" it should fit snuggly

4. use the opening in the soda can to secure your incense stick and make sure it can't move.

5. lit the incense and make sure it's top end is over the can - put it on a surface which is FIREPROOF
(if the ashes stick to the incense stick you can push it down with scissors, knife, matchstick, etc.)

enjoy - when it's snowing outside and you have to stay in your room studying it's nice to have some cinnamon incense at hand :)

/before I used to stick the incense into an old piece of bread - so this is huge improvement.. it would also make a pretty nice pen holder/

bare feet, jeans and lists...

2012-01-16T18:09:00.004+01:00

what I do when I miss my Africa and my kids is that I pull on a pair of jeans which I like to call "my next Africa jeans" an old tee which went with me there (and still has that un-washable reddish tint from all the dust), and I curl into ball on my bed and cry silent tears.

not because I'm sad (which I sure am) but because it feels wrong to be where I am right now, and yet, there's nothing I can do about it.

and so I write lists - lists of dreams about things I'd pack next time, lists of dreams about flight tickets, visa and laundry soap.
sometimes they help forget, sometimes I feel like I'm doing the right thing for a little while. sometimes not.

and so I walk barefoot, wishing I would remember the feeling of soft red dirt on my soles.

and so I am trapped here, not knowing how to get out, that's why I cry - frustrated and not brave enough to do what I feel I should be doing, not brave enough to follow my dreams.

green smoothie

2012-01-12T21:32:00.004+01:00

this is the first green smoothie I've ever made.

I know there are lots of recipes out there and it's nothing new, but if you didn't try one yet, then you should!

I've cut one banana into pieces, added a handful of baby spinach, some OJ and apple puree ...

and made this green monster.

/you can use any fruit you want - bananas are basic, but you can add any lightly colored fruit - if you keep it light, your smoothie will have lovely green color, instead of brownish purple/

next time I'd add a little bit of lemon juice.

it smelled like grass - freshly cut grass - and even though it's lovely smell, it's not entirely appetizing you know.. and it took me a while to get ready and try it.

it was thick and it has pieces of spinach in it.

I. Hate. Spinach.

I was already writing a blogpost in my head - about how unfortunate idea that was...

but you know what?

it tasted like strawberries - strawberries and something... it was SUMMER in a jar!

I'm officially addicted to green smoothies.

yarn along - hat

2012-01-11T09:16:00.002+01:00

quick slouchy hat with two different self-striping yarns and a little bit of grey...

still studying for exams so - no books to share... but I've ordered a book which should be here around february 4th so I will read that next!

it's called Kisses from Katie and it's about a girl who's being a mommy in Africa - I was reading her blog for a long time and I absolutely love the path she choose in her life...

yarn along - it's WEDNESDAY ALREADY???

2012-01-04T18:55:00.003+01:00

I'm stealing few minutes here and there for knitting - there's a big Microbiology exam next week so I have to study a lot ... so I'm just reading notes from lectures...

anyway... I'm knitting my first "Doubleknitted" scarf ever - it has stripes on the first half and second half will be plain - one side gray, one side blue (self-striping yarn) ..

what are you knitting/crocheting and reading? :)

2012-01-02T08:18:00.002+01:00

we have that vanity table in our room at home - yes, I am a girl and I share a room with my sis so we have one, get over it.

and despite being a tomboy most of the time, I do have those fits of girliness from time to time.

so the other day, while I was packing for school again and listening to Bob Marley's "Jammin'" I searched the vanity table to find something I could take with me. Also I was looking for that ring I had - with a little bow made out of light yellow stones, which I could wear as my promise ring - I didn't find it of course.

but you know what I found?

I found out that between all the necklaces, rings, earrings, pendants, bracelets and ...stuff which all belongs to my sis... all that was mine were few bottle caps which I brought home from Africa, a set of scalpels and exchangeable blades (for dissection for my anatomy class) , and a box of anti-malaria pills.

so from now on, I'll stop trying to be someone I'm not and I'll be myself - bottle caps and all

not because it's new year..

2012-01-01T01:03:00.003+01:00

...but because it's new me.

let's make a to-do-list for next 365 days, shall we?

- Love God more

-be happy

- be more patient and understand others

-be more creative

-start writing my journal again,

-make new friends

-be more spontaneous and care less what other people think about me

-learn to love myself

-find a way to see my kids again

-no sweets, more water

-run faster and longer every day

-more snail-mail

-get a promise ring and wear it

-get off the facebook for real

-pray more

pray for the one

-grow long hair again

-smile more, cry less

-stop biting my nails

-stress less about school

-live

-be thankful

-no more buying new clothes

-learn to play guitar

-knit,crochet,sew,write poetry,

-wear sweats on Friday nights,

-keep promises

BE MYSELF

it all started with...

2011-12-23T23:20:00.003+01:00

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee"

and now, there is a baby coming to this world,

coming to save our souls and she knows it, Mary knows He's the son of God.

she wants Him to be here already, she wants to hold Him close to her heart, stay up all night and take care of Him, but not because He is God, not because He came for the world.

She wants to coo over Him and watch His tiny hand wrap around Joseph's finger and giggle because He is her son.

Just as every baby who is born is miracle and a gift from God, just as every mom sees the world in her baby, Mary saw her son.

And for that split second He wasn't the son of God who came to die for us, He was little baby boy in hands of his mom and the world stood still.

GIVEAWAY WINNER!

2011-12-15T22:06:00.004+01:00

so I closed the comments on my giveaway post and used a "random number generator" to choose one of you guys...

and the winner is:

congratulations Mami Dearest!

"Nothing better than sharing some Christmas joy!"
/sorry for the bad quality of these pictures but my roommate was asleep and I didn't want to use flash.../

MERRY CHRISTMAS EERYONE!

yarn along christmas decorations...

2011-12-14T16:23:00.003+01:00

I've knitted my first Christmas decoration ever!

it was fun and quick and it used up the left-over yarn from my secret christmas project (which I can't show you until after Christmas...

confused about the number of DPNs? well, as lazy as I am, I used spare needles instead of stitch holders and this is what happened:
still reading the secret garden , but I'm thinking about reading my Bible again - as the Christmas is almost here it would be nice to remind myself how it all happened the first time...

I love the pattern and I will knit many more of these!

also, YOU HAVE THE LAST CHANCE TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY!

good luck :) and go check out all the cool stuff everyone's knitting and crocheting - at Ginny's blog!

name one place...

2011-12-12T21:30:00.003+01:00

...where you'd want to be right now - forget about your work tomorrow, forget about exams that need to be done, about the laundry and dishes, forget about dentist appointment in 2 days, forget about all the decorations and gift-shopping, and...

name one place where you'd want to be right now, one place which would make you the happiest person on the world:

I'd like to be at Amsterdam airport - right at the beginning of my 10 hours long wait before I'd fly to Nairobi.

at first I wanted to say africa - my africa, being in the Hall right now, praying after dinner and holding a kid on my lap, whispering how much I love him into his short fuzzy hair.

but no, I'd like to be at the airport.

waiting.

because that would mean Africa is close, really close, but at the same time it'd mean it didn't start yet, I wouldn't have to live every moment as much as possible, I wouldn't have to feel too alive, I'd just sit there in one of the comfy chairs, with a friend dozing off on my shoulder. and we would be waiting. and life would slowly pass around us...

yarn along - almost christmas

2011-12-07T21:51:00.001+01:00

reading secret garden and knitting mittens for someone, I don't know who yet...

and don't forget to enter my CHRISTMAS BOOK GIVEAWAY!!!!

CHRISTAMS BOOK GIVEAWAY

2011-12-02T23:34:00.005+01:00

so, last year, there was this giveaway on Elisa's blog.. I won. And she sent me a beautiful beautiful book, which I enjoyed a lot.

Thank you Elisa, for spreading Christmas cheer last year :) and I feel I should do the same.

I loved the story, so touching, full of love and Christmas.
I'm going to give it away, because I think good stories should be shared and because I'm a little bit crazy (in a good way - as Dan would say).
The book is so beautiful that I'll probably end up buying a copy for myself after I send this one away but YOU HAVE TO READ IT!
It's small, delightfully written and illustrated book.

ggggrhghrhr ... it took me whole year to decide if I should pass it to someone or not, seriously. but I think it needs to be shared so here I am, writing this post.

If you'd like to win, jut leave a comment on this post.

One comment per person please.
I'll choose random comment (winner) on december 15th (2011) .
I hope it will be in your home in time for Christmas :)
I'll ship worldwide.

Good luck and merry christmas!

2011-12-01T00:08:00.004+01:00

Dearest grandpa,

I know you've been taking care of all my dog friends in heaven.
I remember asking you the last time... few years ago...
I know God cares for all His creatures - great and small, but I feel better knowing you'll keep an eye on them too.

The dog I'm sending you now is still a puppy. You'll have your hands full. He might be scared, so talk to him, he understands more than you think.
I love him too much, and I hate seeing him go, but please, please show him around and let him sleep close to you - (he loves to snuggle) - until I get there.
He loves kids and I know he'll make a great friend for all the little angels who are there with you. He loves to have his belly scratched and he'll probably need new collar because he's been outgrowing the old one.
Please hug and kiss him as often as you can and tell him how much I miss him every day, but don't let him see me cry.I will cry. I will cry a lot and it would just upset him so please, when you'll see a tear rolling down my cheek throw him a ball or kiss his nose to distract him. Keep him happy and safe, until I get there.

I love you Grandpa, thanks for looking after my puppies ...see you one day...

Jarka
{Beny - autumn 2010}

random monday rambling

2011-11-28T12:49:00.004+01:00

it's dull, cold monday and as I look through the pile of books, dirty mugs and a cup of honey which are resting on my window sill, I see mist, lazily hanging over the grass.

I've stolen 20 minutes from my studying and worked a little bit on Christmas presents. - yey! handmade gifts... bits of yarn are all I can show you so far...

and I saw my vintage towel hanging on my chair and thought I'll share it with you - love vintage!
roses, school time-table and a photo from my first Africa...I know you love seeing pieces of my room, that's why I share them with you :D
all the postcards my sis sends me - love them!

..and now I should probably stop listening to Julia Nunes and start studying...
I hope you have nice cold monday too and I promise to write something which would actually make sense soon ...
live long and prosper.... :D

carrot-apple salad

2011-11-26T22:38:00.003+01:00

I remember eating this long time ago when I was a kid. And right now I'm on a big carrot-apple salad kick again.

I eat a lot of this sweet yummy stuff.

It's great for snacking, and when you feel like you need to eat something sweet this will do it for you.

I used 3 big carrots and 2 apples and a teaspoon of dark forest honey (because the apples were pretty bitter). I'd add some lemon juice if I had it, but it's not necessary.

/the trick is to have it ready in your fridge for the "I have to get a chocolate now!" crisis, so make a lot and just keep it in a tupperware container/

do you like it? do you put some secret ingredients in yours? do you remember eating this when you were a child?

{this moment}

2011-11-25T09:56:00.001+01:00

dog-sitting for a couple of hours - she loved sleeping on my bed :)

it's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone...

2011-11-17T18:29:00.008+01:00

we left at 7:30 a.m. and were ready to go to the forest around nine. Wearing bright orange vests and frozen smiles. It was cold.
after official start and safety instructions and a couple of speeches we left...

there were lots of awesome brave dogs and their masters who took good care of them....

doggies were waiting patiently all morning....

approx. half of the people who joined the hunt today....
dog and his master depending on each other.

we were lucky the sun was shining but our toes were freezing anyway...
and I had to constantly ask someone to tuck my mittens inside my sleeves...

after the first part was over we all met here...
and walked back to the starting point ...

we tried to keep warm or at least have fun and forget about the cold...

we took lots of pictures...
and then the second part of the hunt started - and it was even colder than in the morning...

safety first - orange sea....

and lots of waiting again...

and everything from that point went down the hill...

the hunt was over quickly but...

an old hog broke a leg of one of the dogs. Brave brave dog... he should be ok, but it will take time. He didn't even cry.

the ceremony at the end...

and the ride home...
it was beautiful day, except for the killing part...

Yarn along - comfy nights and instant soup

2011-11-16T20:31:00.004+01:00

still knitting the hooded scarf - still without decent photo...
still reading the Bible, I should read more often, I'll try...

and totally off topic - we went to that café kind of place a lot these past two weeks and they give you those plastic spoons which they throw away after you're done with your desert - so we're taking them with us - you can never have enough spoons in your dorm-room.

oh and I should mention (because it's already in the title) that I had instant soup for dinner tonight ...

is it too much to ask for a....

2011-11-13T00:27:00.002+01:00

Man who thinks I'm beautiful,

who compliments my today's selection of sweatpants,

who loves decorating for holidays,

who has heart open for adoption,

who thinks big family dining-room table and mismatched chairs are the best idea ever,

who will kiss me in the morning to wake me up

who will carry handkerchief in his pocket - always

who won't mind my crazy dreams and won't tell me to live in the reality all the time

who will love me the way I am - not perfect.

who won't laugh when I sing-along to songs in radio

who will snuggle with me on rainy days

who will sleep in,

who knows that perfectly clean house is proof of wasted life

who will let me have christmas lights over our bed whole year around.

who will love me the way I am - not perfect

and who will listen even if I repeat myself.

TO DO BEFORE NEW YEAR

2011-11-08T23:17:00.002+01:00

-lose 10 pounds and don't gain them back

-run, exercise more

-stop eating candy

- get off of facebook DONE

-be more creative

-find new friends (more friends - I still have the old ones and they're great, but the more the merrier)

-learn to love myslef

yarn along...

2011-11-02T21:06:00.002+01:00

I'm knitting a hooded scarf... not using any pattern, just knitting...
the color is much nicer in real life, more turquoise...

and I'm reading my new Bible in English ... and I'm going to sleep now, so if you'll excuse me.... Good night :)

harem pants pattern

2011-10-28T19:53:00.008+02:00

it all started some time ago when I bought my first pair of harem pants on Etsy. I love them and wear then often. for example last monday morning when I pulled them on over my PJs and went to school (it was cold outside and I enjoyed secretly wearing my PJs all day - I'm lazy like that..)

then grandma gave me the best selection of adorable vintage fabrics ... and I made up this pattern - inspired by my old harem pants...

first step is cutting off the top part of some old sweatpants (this is optional - you can sew it all in fabric, but this is more comfy and also simpler)
than use the rest of your sweat pants to make cuffs for your new pants - these will go around your ankles so make sure they are wide enough to fit your legs (remember that sweatpants-fabric is stretchy and we want it snug)
now you will cut the fabric - I used old dress from grandma - so I took advantage of the side seams and pockets. if you have new fabric, you'll have to cut 4 rectangles ("A") -use one of your pants to measure the length and I made mine 23 cm wide ...
sew them together on one side to create two side panels -if you want to add pockets do it now ...(ignore the strings of fabric on the picture I cut them off later)
this is the picture of two side panels on top of my old pants - you see that the middle piece is missing, we'll create it next...
for the back of my pants I used combination of two colors -2x "C" and 2x"D" (because I didn't have enough of the blue fabric and because I like to keep it colorful)
and two times "B" for the front...
the bottom of your side panels is also a bottom of the pants - it should be wider than the sweatpants fabric pieces...
pin then together - I put pins on the sides and in the middle, then I ruffled the excess of the fabric...sew
sew the "C" and "D" together ...
and sew both "Bs" toether - this is what you'll get:
now sew "As" to the joined "Bs" and add another "As" than "C-Ds" ..it will form a kind of oddly shaped "skirt" ...turn it inside out and sew the inside "arc" together - this will form your pants.

all you have to do is add a sweatpants top - use lots of pins

Don't ruffle the back - sew it flat there, then create ruffles on the front part...

all done!
sorry for the bad light, it's late and I didn't want to use flash....
perfect for lazy winter mondays spent in lecture rooms, or just for chillin' in your dorm room...

they're cute for summer or whenever you feel whimsy... I felt really odd the first time I put on harem pants but now I'm addicted...

2011-10-25T23:45:00.002+02:00

is it too much to ask, if want a simple hug after we say good night?

but the truth is I don't want just one hug..

I want to snuggle from time to time, I want someone who would laugh at my jokes and knock on the door one more time after we say good night to look at me for one more time tonight...

I want someone to love me the way I love him. What's so hard about that?

pinterest anyone?

2011-10-23T22:58:00.005+02:00

{just a photo to get your attention - my bed-head }

can someone please invite me to pinterest?

thank you so much!

UPDATE: thank you Jordan - for the invitation :)

list of things I want to do when I get home...

2011-10-22T15:21:00.001+02:00

- sew myself a pair of wide-pants -just like these - using vintage fabric from grandma

-bake - because the only thing you get to do here in dorm-room is this:

or this:
-knit/crochet (I only have some left-over pink yarn here)

-dye my winter coat light blue /turquoise and sew on it some stars

-sew some camera-strap cover + make another give-away :)

-wash the wool fleece and probably try some spinning...

but most of all I can't wait to get home and hug mom and dad and get some real food!!! :)

you know what?

2011-10-17T18:05:00.004+02:00

forget about what I said. It wasn't true and I'm not fooling anyone, at least not myself.

can we just start over?

and this time I promise I'll tell you the truth.

I feel sad and empty and confused, but mostly sad.

but that's because of the lack of serotonin and not for the lack of love.

trust me, I know myself. let's blame it at PMS and stupid hormones :P

I just sometimes wish I didn't love him because it would have been so much easier right now

- just like I wish SOMETIMES I didn't go to Africa the first time - because everything would have been so much easier right now.

but no, I don't regret it happened. I just have bad days/weeks just like everyone else does from time to time.

so yes, I'm sorry but can you forget what I said?

still in love and still happy about it and I'm no longer going to try deny it. why should I?

and I don't care if he knows, if world knows, if someone cares. I have other things to worry about.

I DO LOVE HIM and what?

truly madly deeply.

and now I can laugh at myself, because it really is funny...at least I hope it will be one day - when I look back and tell stories about these days to my kids.

I fell out of love

2011-10-16T19:17:00.007+02:00

it feels like I fell out of love.

It didn't happen today, I guess it took me two years...slowly falling for him more and more every day, until it was too much to take and something switched inside of me and ...

I do not love him anymore. - see I said it and it feels like it's true.

I feel sad, and empty and confused but mostly sad.

image source

It was beautiful to love. It felt like I had a purpose in my life, I had someone to live for.
It didn't matter that he didn't love me too. I learned to live with that. Loving but not being loved... now it's different.

I don't feel like something changed since yesterday, no, like I said it took two years, and it'll take another decade to get completely over him, but I'll try.

I loved being in LOVE, I'll miss that feeling too much... it was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. Do not fear love, always let it take over you if you get a chance.

/I think we all know I still love, kind of... but I'm too tired to go on like this, so for my own sake, let's say I fell out of love./

If Jim knew what I've been up to, he'd be terribly jealous...

2011-10-15T20:10:00.007+02:00

that's why I left him at home (he doesn't like rainy days anyway) and we hopped over to the local shelter for the first time ever.

I thought I'll cry when I get there, but it wasn't that bad. they have pretty big compound with space for dogs in the middle where they could run /of course not all together, they had to take turns/
we came in and they gave us "big dogs" because we were big kids.

this is Suri and me, she was very calm and well behaved, didn't pull the leash and didn't jump on me (well, she did, once, when we were playing together, but after I told her not to do it, she understood.

don't get me wrong, I don't mind dogs jumping on me, but for the sake of her future family, I wanted to teach her some manners. She's a very easy-going doggie, and I fell in love with her instantly.

this little guy is still waiting for his family, after several unsuccessful placements, he's back in the shelter waiting for the right one who would understand him.

good thing they have huge field close to the shelter where we could walk the dogs.

It was cold and rainy today but I didn't mind. I'll just have to knit myself some hat for the next time.

this handsome follow is Max. so cute that I didn't mind his constant need to run everywhere and pee on everyone ( now that I'm thinking about it, he was just making sure everyone else would know which human was his - by peeing on Prince's leg and then my bag - which Prince carried for me when he kneeled down to take a photo of me with Suri)

This is Brit, the most hyperactive dog, always in a hurry, but oh so awesome boy. He'd need some practice with walking with the leash but apart from that he did amazingly well, I can't wait to see him again soon.

Such a fun guy to be around.

it was cold, but beautiful...

I got a little teary only once, when they took Suri back to her dog-house. I hated to see her go, and the worst part was that she didn't want to go - as soon as we approached the shelter she slowed down and sat on the ground.

Nothing would make her move,not even the biscuit I wanted to share with her. but the big truck swishing behind our backs on the road, scared her - a lot - and she went, I had to pull her. and I promised to find her a family, and that everything will be well again.
Why do I keep making such stupidly hard-to-keep promises?

so I've been told...

2011-10-12T20:13:00.005+02:00

I've been told it's stupid that I keep my blog and make myself seem "cooler" than I really am.

apparently my life looks better in blog that in reality.

odd- because often when I'm typing a post I keep reminding myself to just keep it real babe

yes, it rains here. It rains a lot and it's freakin' cold - Pardon my French, but it's how it is.

and we have lots of boring, dull autumn days with nothing but tons of genetics and pharmacology going on and on. And yes, it's true, I don't usually bother you with this kind of fun facts about my life.

because I don't think it's important for you to know when my lab-coat needs a patch for the sleeve or if I go to the grocery store today or tomorrow...

I do write about my knitting and it is true lots of your posts inspired me to knit more, but I did knit before we've met. I do read blogs and get lots of awesome ideas from your pages (for which I'm greatly thankful btw) but I do dream up my own projects (hence - I rarely knit/crochet/sew according to original pattern)

here is a bunch of vintage fabrics I got from my grandma - brand new, sitting in her wardrobe waiting for their own purpose in life :)

I feel like sewing some camera-strap slip cover or maybe a cute little zipper pouch or something creative for my next giveaway :)

aren't they awesome?

but yes, life isn't bright and creative all the time - it's mostly grey and filled with school lessons, lectures and stuff.

just stuff in general...

BUT sometimes, just sometimes a little bits of sun get through the layer of clouds... simple things like finding a postcard in your mailbox.

don't you love snail-mail?

but back to the topic, I should be telling you how my life isn't as cool as it seems here on the blog... but actually it's much better. Of course it all depends on the point of view, if you look really close, you can find beauty in everything, even in the unpainted blank patches of the life...

...I'll try to keep it more real for you...maybe... so that's it...

/all photos but the fabric one are from my dorm room/

yarn along - cowl obsession starts today...

2011-10-12T06:43:00.003+02:00

it was quick rainy day project...and I'll knit hooded cowl next.

yarn along - long time ago in africa...

2011-10-05T19:17:00.003+02:00

this summer - in the middle of nowhere (central kenya) - while it was raining too much, I crocheted a pencil-case... just because... and everyone loves it :)

revelry link

re-organizing...

2011-10-01T19:39:00.004+02:00

I reorganized our furniture today and I have to say that the room looks much better right now :)

tonight

2011-09-30T20:49:00.003+02:00

as I lay in the shadows

surrounded by whispers

of dandelions and elves,

and fireflies

in valleys fly above lakes

I close my eyes

eyelashes brushing

against your chin,

touching my world

I do not breathe

afraid to chase you away

I do not fear dark

my sweet friend darkness

who holds me at night

alone, in the tall grass

leaves caressing my closed eyes

where your hands should be

whipping away silent tears

stars do not shine this night

hanging from the skies

sadly like myriads of prisoners at dawn.

morning shall come

and find me here

at the very same place

a dream about you left me

after two mornings we will meet

I will count the hours

until I see you one more time.

/work in progress/

new beginnings... or not

2011-09-30T14:18:00.003+02:00

I should be writing posts about Africa - and I promise I will - I have it all written in my journal, but life's been busy. First weeks of school, first dentist appointment of the year...
no, I should tell you the truth.
I've been hiding, hiding from my reality, into a more "normal" reality of a soon-to-be-22 years old girl.
I wanted to get some time with normal problems of normal people. I wanted to worry about school exams and be sad because I missed the last episode of TBBT.
I wished I could go to the mall and have a cup of coffee with a friend, I wanted to be that single, carefree girl who smiled and went to the art-classes every friday afternoon. I miss my old-self.
-running from reality.

I enjoyed having no internet for a while - it was a good excuse why not to write about Africa (I know I complained about having no internet all the time, but the truth is I didn't mind that much).
Than the idiot from the school computer centre fixed it and viola -here I am - online.

The reason why I'm not so eager to tell you about my second trip to africa is purely selfish. It just hurts too much to be away from my kids again. and when I write about it, it hurts even more.
I loved it in Kenya the first time - it was different, new and overwhelming.
Second time, it was perfect. Because now it is my home away from home.
That's why it hurts so much now, much more than I thought it was possible to hurt.

and sometimes when I get tired of my reality of worrying about kids and feeling homesick I wish for a while I .....

no, never mind. Africa was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will tell you about the second trip soon... :)

things I'm lovin'

2011-09-24T07:48:00.001+02:00

I wholeheartedly believe that no matter what is happening in your life, there is always something that you can be thankful for... no matter how simple it is.

I love writing about africa again...

being back in school

-digging wells with friends - or at least I like the "with friends" part of the sentence.

- traveling + sour cream&onion Pringles (photo taken at the airport-Amsterdam)

-split-second decisions about going back home to Africa after two years in two days for 3 weeks. - it was the best decision I made this year and I loved it there.

I love my kids - every single one of them.

amsterdam airport...still waiting...

2011-08-28T15:55:00.000+02:00

Camping on the airport… Amsterdam… had perfect couch just for myself, my blanket and my crocheting. Perfect.

Until I had to choose between the perfect spot and wet pants. Would it be too disturbing to tell you I was thinking about the possibility of simply keeping the spot? :D

Don’t worry, I packed everything, used the bathroom and came back. Of course my spot was taken. Too many people, too few seats…

Few more hours and I’ll go to the gate…

I would upload a photo from this airport but it won’t let me upload anything – I’d have to pay for it…no thanks J you’ll have to wait for your photo.

One more night among the clouds and I’ll be in Nairobi…

And hopefully my checked-in baggage will make it too.

…and so we’re probably starting 3 weeks of blog silence /not sure about the internet connection at the orphanage/ + don’t take this personally, but I’d rather spend my time with my kids than online, writing blog posts.

see you in a while...

vienna airport

2011-08-27T22:42:00.003+02:00

boooooring...check-in starts in 6 hours... what should I do... any suggestions?

/please ignore the stupid look on my face - I'm tired/

next stop amsterdam :)

guess what???

2011-08-26T12:00:00.002+02:00

you might want to follow my "Africa" blog (link on top of the page)

for the next 3 weeks...

because I'm going back!!! to see my kids again!

more coming soon...

knitting charts

2011-08-21T13:42:00.003+02:00

this charts weren't tested yet, but I'm planning to knit a mug-cosy or can-cosy using these two designs soon. if you use them for something please let me know.
Feel free to download the pictures and use them for your own knitting projects - please don't sell any objects made with these charts, without asking me first. Thank you.

Stoney Tangawizy is a kind of strong ginger soda from Africa - I used to drink it in Kenya and since then I've been in love.
For me, Africa smells like mixture of laundry soap and smoke and tastes like Stoney Tangawizy

Tusker is beer brand in Kenya (maybe also somewhere else?) and those volunteers who liked beer said it's pretty good :D - I just love the elephant :) - for this chart you'll have to add "tusker tusker" later with sewing needle and yarn, it would have been too difficult to add such small letters to the chart.

enjoy!

high tatras II. -WARNING: PICTURE OVERLOAD

2011-08-20T13:16:00.011+02:00

august 18th 2011 RYSY (In High Tatras)

our morning train from Poprad to Štrbské pleso

are we there yet? -nope, not even close...

first stop "Popradské pleso" (lake)

we had to cross the water many times on the way up
waterfalls and rocks
"frog lakes"

there were rocks with chains to help us climb up
there were brave people who carried food and drinking water up to the chalet - now I know why everything's so expensive there.

almost there...

flags near the chalet
snack - one hour from the top
some people had their wedding pictures taken up there - bride wearing red climbing shoes was a nice touch.

rocks everywhere

state border Slovakia/Poland
all the people climbing to the top - it was insane...
me, 2499.6 meters above sea level (1.553 miles)
our feet and great view - you can see how high we were

on the way down - luckily nothing bad happened - the helicopter was just bringing building material up there, for the chalet

can you see the zig-zag path in the middle?

lots of people everywhere - especially on the "chains part"

and perfect sunset at the end of perfect day

I think about too many things at the same time

2011-08-19T20:56:00.009+02:00

I went to High Tatras again (yesterday)...and it was awesome and I loved every second of it, but gosh I was so tired.
it was beautiful, sun was shining, people were everywhere - it was insane, but I loved it..wait, I've already said that didn't I?
well, I did LOVE it...

/it deserves a post on it's own = much more photos coming soon/

~~world~~ blog world is so small.. it feels like every blogger I'm following /reading their blog knows some of my other favorite blogs. like we all have the same group of friends. little hints here and there, which an outsider might not see but I recognize them.

it's amazing.

And we all seem to read similar things. Get inspiration from same places etc.

like recently one of my favorite bloggers mentioned Smitten kitchen - and how you can't go wrong when making one of Deb's recipes. And I absolutely agree. And it reminded me that I didn't check what's new there, for a very long time.

and I looked for some soup recipe, because you know, I felt like making some soup. I didn't cook any soup for a long time - heck, I'm not sure I ever cooked a proper soup.

and I found this recipe for winter squash soup

and I followed the recipe. Why, thank you for the applause, but don't get too excited. I changed a couple things.

for instance we didn't have enough squash (or maybe we did, I'm not sure, didn't weight it) so I've added 1/4 of big red pepper (diced) ...and we didn't have sage, so I skipped that.

...

off topic

Sage is a beautiful name for a baby don't you think? I've recently started to follow one blogger who has three (soon to be four) kids and they have the most beautiful names I've ever heard (True, Brave and Soul) ... here's her blog :)

...

... well, I made that squash soup for lunch today.

and I had it for dinner tonight - although not in such a stylish way (tonight I heated it in small pod and ate it straight from it, in the kitchen, it was already dark and I had a cup of raw milk with it. it was pretty good)

and I've finished my first legwarmer (it still needs to be blocked)- second one is already on the needles...

and I have too many things to think about, and it's late and I should go to bed...

sweet dreams world...

yarn along -Ginny's legwarmers

2011-08-17T09:42:00.003+02:00

~ Two of my favorite things are knitting and reading, and the evidence of this often shows up in my photographs. I love seeing what other people are knitting and reading as well. So, what are you knitting or crocheting right now? What are you reading?~Ginny
I've started knitting my first legwarmer of my first pair of legwarmers ever. I'm using Ginny's notes because I fell in love with her legwarmers she has knitted for herself :) ...plus new yarn came in the mail - KAYA in Jungle, so I had to cast on something immediately :)

not reading anything interesting, just switched from my anatomy textbooks to Zootechnics - one more exam and I'll finally have summer vacation! (just in time - school starts again in september :)

CHALLENGE

2011-08-10T14:19:00.007+02:00

lil' bit of history:

-I remember my first year of uni - staying in dorms - me and my roommate, we always had full wardrobes of clothes, and boys always had just few tees and pants on their shelves and lots of empty storage place.

Their room looked much more organized (yet, it was smaller).

-I remember my summer in Africa where I used 4 tees and 2 pants and maybe one skirt, it was enough, even for playtime, for trips to the city, for fieldwork for kitchen duty and work in the shamba

I don't need even half of the clothes I have at home...

many many many bloggers did this - in one way or another, so I want to join the "trend" because for once, this could be a meaningful and useful trend, which will save some money and reduce the amount of waste on our planet.

also it will be easier to pack for college this way.

...

{random photo - because I really don't have any pictures of myself - which would be theme appropriate for this post - as I'm always the one behind the camera}}

{at one point this summer - I looked like this - yes, yarn braids -fun but it took forever to put them in}

WHY am I posting about it this soon? - yes, I'm planning to start in september but I wanted to give you guys some time to think it over and maybe join me?

here are the rules:

-1 year NO NEW CLOTHES CHALLENGE

-no buying new clothes/shoes/purses...

-you can select 15 clothes +1 bag +5 accessories for 30 days

(after every month you can "exchange them" for another 20 items)

-handmade clothes don't count as "buying new clothes" - you can make as many new handmade as you want

(hint hint: knit, sew, crochet, be creative)

-socks and underwear don't count

(we don't want to force anyone to sacrifice clean underwear for tomorrow just to get one more skirt for this month - eeew)

-PJs, gym and home clothes don't count

{after taking out the yarn braids...I've decided to enjoy short hair as long as it lasts}

example for my September (might change):

CLOTHES

- sneakers

-red jeans

-jeans

-wide pants

- striped tee

-knitted vest

-knitted cardigan

-anatomy tee

-blue dress

-sandals

-long-sleeve brown tee

-pink tee (yes, I admit I have a pink tee)

-red shirt

-tanktop

-blue tee

BAG

-my school briefcase

ACCESSORIES

-Luna earrings

-green scarf

-gray scarf

-legwarmers

-hat (for bad hair day)

...the rules are WORK IN PROGRESS - I have to think about it, maybe add new rules, change something etc. - all new ideas are welcome - let me know if there's something I didn't cover.

The plan is to do this for 1 year - starting september 2011, finishing august 2012.

-no new clothes=no new waste for the planet = money saved= more things to blog about

Weasley's greenhouse

2011-08-10T12:59:00.002+02:00

I'm not sure they had a greenhouse at the Burrow, but if they did, I'm sure it would look a lot like the greenhouse my grandma has in her garden.

creative friday - snail mail etc.

2011-08-05T10:15:00.006+02:00

I HAVE LOST MY ADDRESS BOOK!!! SO IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU USED TO GET LETTERS FROM ME AND NOW YOU DIDN'T HEAR FROM ME FOR A LONG TIME AND WOULD LIKE TO GET LETTERS FROM ME AGAIN :) PLEASE SEND ME AN E-MAIL :)

THANKS :)

this is my first time participating in Creative Friday on Natural Suburbia - go over there and see what everyone else created!

WRITING STATIONERY

-this doesn't really need a tutorial, because I'm sure everyone can cut out shapes from paper and stick them to another paper, but maybe it will inspire someone.

you will need plain white paper (or any color you want - but keep it light because you are gonna write letters on it!)
-we had ordinary A4 white paper that daddy uses for the printer - I'm sure you have some at home...if you don't, then get some old checkered notepad paper or even a paper with lines.
(I just prefere plain)

and some old magazines or newspaper etc.
I keep all nice pictures from newspaper in one bag - they can be off topic - you will only use parts of them.
keep your eyes wide open and look for interesting patterns/colors/etc.

then cut out any shape you want - flowers, stars, animals, ... keep it simple.
then glue them to the white paper

now go and write someone a letter.
nothing big, just a simple note to a friend who lives across the street, or your grandma, etc.
write to someone who's not expecting it. Believe me, it will make their day.

JUST A FRIENDLY TIP:

-keep a paper with your letter on your desk and add little bits here and there - funny moments from your day, a joke you heard etc. it might take you a week to finish the letter but it's ok, just have fun with it :)

-if you decide to decorate all around the paper sheet, make sure the pictures won't fall off when you fold the letter.

-it is nice to make a matching envelope, but some post-offices won't accept envelopes which have decoration on the side where you write the address so keep it simple and maybe on the front of the envelope? - or just get some plain color envelopes - they look nice and don't need to be decorated.

GET A CHANCE TO DECIDE and save a life

2011-08-04T20:24:00.007+02:00

today, everybody wants to now all the options. We want to be able to DECIDE.

wouldn't you want to know if there was the option for you and only you to save someone's life?

I had to go to my hematologist for a check-up, nothing scary, just some tests, and they have Hematology and Oncology in the same part of the hospital and every time I go for a check up I feel so very thankful that it's "only hematology" for me.

{knitted monkey (pattern will be posted soon) - random photo to keep your attention }

Now I go to see a doctor for grown-ups because I'm no longer a kid ( Dan,you can tell that to Nick - I'm no longer a kid!!!)

but I used to go to kids' doctor and they had a nice sea-fish aquarium and a lot of little patients in the waiting room.

It always scared me to see all the little kiddos there, and I prayed they were there "only for hematology check-up"

and while answered Prayer is all they need, I felt I had to do more. That's when I cut my hair and donated it for the first time.

But hair won't save your life.

and so I Googled and Googled and found out what it means to become a Bone Marrow Donor.

many people don't know what it really means, many people don't know there's this option.

many people just imagine big needle stuck into your bone, and all the pain which goes with it.

but it doesn't work like that.

BECOMING BONE MARROW DONOR DOES NOT MEAN THEY WILL TAKE YOUR BONE MARROW RIGHT NOW, RIGHT THERE - IT IS SO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN BLOOD DONATION.

-first step is looking on the internet/calling (e-mailing) your local hospital/doctor and asking where is the closest hematology/oncology

-you can find it all online

-then you get an appointment with the doctor

-then they take a small sample of your blood

-then you sign some papers - giving them permission to test your blood and put your information into the BMD registry

-then you go home and wait. And wait. For days, months, years, forever.

in order to become B.M. Donor your HLA (proteins on the surface of your blood cells) needs to be 10 out of 10 points identical with the HLA of the person who needs B.M. transplantation.

IF that by some miracle happens they will contact you.

Then you come in there and they do some more tests.

IF they are 100% sure you're the right match and you're 100% healthy then you have the opportunity to decide.

you can go home, you can take as much time as you want. Talk to your family, friends, facebook friends, you can ask questions and read about B.M.donation.

then you can make the decision.

wouldn't it be nice to know all your options?

it would be your choice

I became registered Bone Marrow Donor two years ago and still didn't hear from anyone.

I'm glad that if there is a person in this world who has identical HLA with me, he/she is healthy and doesn't need B.M. transplantation. So thankful for that. But on the other hand, if someone has to become ill, then I wish it was someone with my HLA so I could help.

there are many people who will never find their match, many patients are waiting.

please consider becoming a donor. it doesn't hurt and it's free.

thank you.

a little note for the end:

when I went there to get myself registered as BMD the doctor first thought I was one of the patients and asked if my ordinary doctor sent me there.

I said I came on my own.

It took her a while to realize I was new donor - not a patient.

She was happy. I've never seen someone change their mood that fast - from sad/serious to happy. It was priceless.

_____

and if you decide you don't want to donate your bone marrow, no one will judge you, no one will ever say anything bad. They don't inform the patient about finding the match unless you decide to DO IT. So you're not under pressure, you won't disappoint anyone if you for some reason decide you don't want to. It's your body, you have the right to make decisions about it.

yarn along - poetry of finished project...

2011-08-03T09:25:00.004+02:00

I've finished the sweater (yesterday) and it feels so good to have it off the needles.

I loved knitting it!

it was my first big project - and it was only 3.5mm needles! - I always thought I'll never knit a sweater on needles smaller than 10mm :D ...but it was easy and it took only 2 weeks!

I still have plenty of time left before autumn starts :)

Here is Ravelry link.

AND my photo is featured on the main Ravelry page for the pattern!

I've been reading Keats lately.

Yes, I've started Milton's Paradise Lost some time ago and I love it but it's taking a lot of time and energy to read - and it's pretty slow reading because my English isn't quite there yet :D

so I switched to Selected Poetry by John Keats and I'm in love.

my favorite so far is Ode to a Nightingale - it was one of Keats' first poems I've read and now I can almost say it by heart - I've read it that many times.

Nothing new on the needles - because my head is full of anatomy and Keats right now. Maybe I'll cast on something before next week's Yarn Along.

Happy reading and Happy knitting everyone!

PS: this is how much yarn I have left:

Dear Mr. Keats

2011-08-02T21:29:00.002+02:00

I fell in love with your poems.

yarn along - enough yarn or not enough yarn?

2011-07-26T22:22:00.002+02:00

~ Two of my favorite things are knitting and reading, and the evidence of this often shows up in my photographs. I love seeing what other people are knitting and reading as well. So, what are you knitting or crocheting right now? What are you reading?~ Ginny

working on my sweater...I've started to knit the first sleeve on DPN and it's tricky because I keep loosing stitches, so it's going slowly..
I love the pattern, it's easy to follow and I've already learned couple of new things.
the knitting will slow down even more now because I've started to revise all the stuff for my anatomy exam in august = no book to share with you...

...and I hope your summer is nicer than ours - it's been raining for two weeks now :P

yarn along - first time circular needles

2011-07-20T10:07:00.002+02:00

I've started to knit my first sweater ever - FOLLOWING A PATTERN!!! can you believe it?!?!

(of course I already have few changes in my mind - for the body of the cardigan but in general I'm following the pattern!)

here's the Ravelry link to my project :)

I've seen the last HP movie and I loved it - but it reminded me about how awesome the book was so I'm re-reading it now.

what about you? what are you reading and knitting/crocheting?

oh and here's a photo from yesterday - big storm - now another one's coming (hint: bad lighting of the photo - it's 10:15 a.m. and we had to turn on the light - it's so dark outside)

too tired to write...or...summer hike idea...

2011-07-18T22:01:00.008+02:00

...so I will show you pictures instead...

this is where we've started our hike...
nice "civilized " path, easy to follow...
but as we went higher and higher there were more stones and less trees
we followed the green marks and went all the way up there (the red arrow)
our team - on top of the mountain...
looking down on the valley we've just climbed...(you can see the path little bit in the middle)
rocks all around us...
we took off our shoes and relaxed for a while, checked the map, had our lunch...
and continued our journey up the mountain...
..remember when I said we were going up there? - well, up there is now down there on the right side of the picture...
we followed the marks - yellow ones this time...
and we went up there...
there were chains to help us climb the mountain...in real life it looked much more dangerous than this...
and the mountain goat followed us around - you see the "U" of blue sky on the left? - that's where we've crossed the mountain top...
on the way down...
there were storm clouds for a while but luckily the sun came out again...
another little lake. close to the last stop of our trip...
and now, I know why water and food is so expensive up there - all has to be carried in backpacks by men -as there is only a narrow path leading up to the mountains...
on the way home, just down, down, down...
it took us 10 hours of walking, climbing and slipping down and up the hills.

the map says it's only 25 km and 1050 m height difference (the highest point was 2060 m. above the sea level), but I feel like I've walked thousands of kilometers...

it was all worth it, and if you ever find yourself in here, with nothing to do, you have to take this hike and see all I've seen.

________

(it is pretty difficult but if I could do it, then you can do it too :) ...but I'd say it's appropriate only for people who are NOT scared of heights and absolutely NOT for kids (at least not the 2nd part of the hike) - but kids could make it up to the "red arrow" and there are beautiful lakes up there and the view is great too)

HIGH TATRAS - from "Stary Smokovec" to "Hrebienok" to "Zamkovskeho chata" to "Teryho chata" through "Priecne sedlo" to "Zbojnicka chata" and back to "Hrebienok"

yarn along -tee yarn and trains

2011-07-13T07:58:00.003+02:00

I didn't knit much...just one quick project and then back to studying...

here's the yarn I made by cutting one old oversized stained tee.

and here's the hat I've knitted with it ...

sorry for the bad quality picture made with my webcam - will post better later, now I have to catch my train to school - yes, another exam :P

eeek...lots of random stuff...

2011-07-10T17:54:00.004+02:00

today, we had a big explosion of blackcurrant juice. Big cup fell down from my windowsill and sent a huge pink-ish wave over my bed, through the room, all the way to the opposite wall where's the bed of my sis.

In moments like this I wishI was drinking Evian like some celebrity.

can't imagine summer without these pants... seriously, they were the best purchase ever made (from Etsy)
I've passed my Biochemistry exam - FINALLY - it was a huge miracle... seriously, I needed it so much, and He did it, He let me pass the exam. God is God.

(BTW do you know that song? - by Steve Earle? God is God - great one!)

I'm studying for another Exam - not as tricky as Biochemistry but I only have 3 days for it... great, another stressful week...

ode to the muffins

2011-07-09T21:24:00.004+02:00

I made muffins. Chocolate with cream-cheese.

they are delicious

but not the best muffins on the world

I've tried lots of different muffin-recipes

but none of them was as good and light and heavenly like Mary's muffins.
Yes, I fell in love with Mary's baking in Ireland, and since then I've been baking her ginger-cake and muffins over and over.
I promise I'll share the recipe for the world's best muffins soon, but if you'll excuse me - I have to take a shower now - after swimming in a lake today, I think my hair could use some shampoo.

goodnight

{this moment}

2011-07-08T23:29:00.003+02:00

just to let you know...

2011-07-06T10:30:00.002+02:00

I'm till alive and well...

{photo from yesterday}

{today it's raining and I'm sitting on the couch eating hazelnut wafer-rolls, washing them down with energy-drink...while someone's still asleep}
{update: 10:36 AM everyone's awake, ready to start the day}

things I'm lovin'

2011-06-30T23:37:00.002+02:00

..these days

all I do is listen over and over to this song:

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT (and learning to play it on my guitar... any idea how to do that? it doesn't sound like the song at all :P )

lovin' being at home

lovin' the fact that I'll go back to "school" tomorrow

lovin' raw milk and ice-cream for breakfast

lovin' having no more problems with falling asleep - as I'm so exhausted every night(early morning) that I simply pass out...

...and that's about it...

yarn-along

2011-06-29T11:13:00.004+02:00

summer is here, what should I knit? scarf! - right?

it's done, the sides are still curling a little bit but I can live with that. It's actually really light - I've stretched it quite a bit and than blocked it originally it was only 2/3 of the current width.
Yes it's 100% acrylic but it's soft and squishy :)
Yes, I didn't use any pattern and yes, I know it's not exactly like it was in the movie but no one really knows how REAL Gryffindor scarf looks like so... :D

I finished the scarf two days ago and have nothing new on the needles right now - still studying for the exams...maybe next week I'll have something started, or maybe not... we'll see...

did you ever feel miserable for no particular reason?

2011-06-28T19:02:00.006+02:00

did you ever realize how none of your plans worked out in a long time,

and did you then go, take a big fluffy towel and locked yourself in the bathroom, taking long hot shower and having the biggest crying fit in ....let's say 20 years?

did you cry over everything?

I cried because I remembered how someone removed me from his facebook friends

I cried because sis had beautiful photos from vacation

I cried over school exams

I cried because this summer will be another summer spent inside, stressed, on the verge of tears while all my friends will be on vacation.

I cried because grandma's dog died - years ago - when i was little

I cried because I wasn't hungry in such a long time I can hardly remember the feeling

I cried because I could take long hot shower

I cried because I miss someone I love

I cried because I miss my kids - I love

I cried because we ran out of raw milk

I cried because world is crazy (in the bad way)

I cried because I don't have facebook anymore (but I don't want it back, not really)

I cried because shampoo got into my eyes.

I cried because I felt like crying.

and you know what? crying in shower didn't help at all. I still feel miserable.

crying only helps if you have someone who will wipe your tears and hold you and tell you everything will be fine - who will make sure it will be fine.

...

If you feel like love has failed you or you have never found that special someone, that is only your future partner's prayers working.

Anonymous

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Anonymous

not very politically correct post...

2011-06-28T10:59:00.005+02:00

sorry for all the political incorrectness in this post. I'm just trying to sort out my thoughts....

when I was in africa...

(geez, I start my sentences like this too often these days)

...people used to point at us and laugh "Mzungus!" ...I even saw parents teaching their little kiddos to call us mzungus.

After some time I didn't feel like mzungu anymore. I felt like I'm one of local people. And when we went to safari I was the one who used to think "look Mzungus!"

They looked funny to me. Sitting in their safari cars, bored, listening to their ipods, with noses painted white with sunblock.

We laughed at Mzungus in Nairobi - holding their bags in front of them as if they had steaks in there and hungry lions were jumping out from around the corner any minute.

For me, mzungu wasn't "white person" for me it was a "westerner" a person who didn't belong.

one day, I was standing outside with Anastasia, holding hands, and then she looked down and pointed to her hand and said "black" and then touched my hand and said "white" and laughed.

I panicked.

Growing up, I was taught there is no difference between people, I knew we were all the same and I knew not to point out any differences. Because you know, it's not polite etc.

but honestly I never really cared. saying someone has darker skin than me seemed pointless - just like it would be to say - look he has brown eyes!

(of course you say things like that sometimes - oh, I know you have brown eyes - the nicest brown eyes I've ever seen! - but you say that to the love of your life, to show him you love every single bit of him.)

some people grow up, scared of differences, pretending there aren't any, just to make their lives more comfortable. I wasn't scared, I just learned to ignore them.

...sometimes it's good, because I do believe something as trivial as the color of your skin or your eyes or whether or not your hair is curly doesn't really matter, but Anastasia made me think.

She saw the difference. Meeting volunteers from all around the world every day, mzungus coming to her home and staying. Some of them longer, some just for a couple of weeks.

She saw the difference, but didn't care.

She didn't say it in a way which would tell me I don't belong, she didn't make me feel different, she just said it, with the raw honesty every child possess and life went on. We kept holding hands and watching boys play football.

She smiled, I smiled and I've learned a lot.

Diferences should be celebrated. It's useless to pretend we're all the same.

It's silly to pretend I have blue eyes. I know they are grey with those stupid little freckles of brown on some places. They are not the same as my mom has. I wanted them to be the same... before.

leaving africa and all my kids behind was the hardest part.

and in the middle of my journey back home, somewhere on the bench, at the airport in Cairo, I realized I'm no longer "mzungu".

I was, once again, just a westerner among westerners, traveling. No one cared where I went, no one noticed me and then it hit me - that means there have to be mzungus all around me. I've spent an hour just sitting there, waiting for my next plane, trying to say who was white and who was black.

It was hard. after being away from home for such a long time, seeing mzungus only two times - once in Nairobi and once on safari, and then suddenly everything changes and instead of people you've been seeing all summer there are mzungus all around you, it's pretty confusing.

and so instead of being a good girl and looking past the differences, I was sitting there, trying my best to find them.

People I've met in africa weren't afraid to see the difference. differences are beautiful - that's what we should learn.

/and yes, I still believe differences aren't important, and I know we're all the same - all of us, children of the same Father...but I LOVE the fact that He made us all different/

apple-peach hand-pies

2011-06-26T22:25:00.005+02:00

do you believe in magic?

2011-06-22T19:32:00.002+02:00

getting ready for the last movie!!! and reading/listening to the book from my sis - funny short stories - "Hemingway's Chihuahua" by Peter Flynn

what now?

2011-06-20T21:45:00.002+02:00

my hair grows... and this was two weeks ago...

what do I do now?
-just let it be...
a couple of bad hair days didn't kill anyone...

/I don't usually take "self-portraits" like this - but this photo is a part of my project - eventually we will see how much I've changed in a year (or more) ..I'm not taking pocture every day, but I try to :) ...we will see how it works out/

thank you for being...

2011-06-18T22:11:00.003+02:00

...kind
...loving
and perfect when I'm not...

tati, ďakujem že si tak super.

a že to so mnou nevzdávaš a že voláš každý večer a vždy mi povieš ako ma ľúbiš - aj keď som hnusná a len na teba vrčím celý čas.

dúfam že vieš že to nie je kôli tebe, len som naštvaná na samú seba že mi nič nevychádza tak ako by som chcela,

dúfam že vieš ako veľmi ťa potrebujem každý deň počuť a ako veľmi mi na tebe záleží.

Raz si nepovedal že ma ľúbiš - vieš, pred tým ako si zložil, asi si zabudol, a ja som to tak strašne chcela povedať ale nakoniec som len povedala "čau" ako vždy a zložili sme.

Vtedy som v noci nespala a rozmýšľala prečo som tak hlúpa a nehovorím veci ktoré chcem povedať, a po dlhom čase som sa prvý krát modlila za to aby som sa ráno zobudila... väčšinou sa modlím za iné veci, za moje deti, za Grace, za školu ale vtedy som si potrebovala byť istá že bude ešte jeden deň, aspoň jeden deň - ešte jeden telefonát, kedy by som ti mohla povedať ako veľmi veľa pre mňa znamenáš.

dúfam že to vieš, aj keď sa tak niekedy nesprávam.

a rovnaké to bolo cestou domov z Afriky (vidíš, zas sem ťahám afriku...) vtedy som celý čas myslela len na to ako musím prísť domov a povedať vám ako veľmi vás ľúbim. Lebo to nehovorím dosť často. Vtedy mi to pripadalo ako najdôležitejšia vec na celom svete, vedela som že keď vás zas uvidím a poviem vám ževás ľúbim, potom bude všetko v poriadku, cítila som sa ako keby to mohlo vyriešiť všetky problémy sveta.

A keď som vás zas stretla tak by sa aj celý vesmír mohol zrútiť do seba a prestať existovať a bolo by mi to jedno, lebo som tam stála vedľa vás a vedeli ste ako strašne vás ľúbim.

...chcela by som aby každé jedno z mojich detí malo takého tatina ako si ty, zaslúžili by si ťa oveľa viac ako ja.

ľúbim ťa najviac na svete

...

milujem keď prídeš ráno do našej izby a odhrnieš žalúzie - aj keď je sobota a chcem spať, lebo svet je krásne miesto a ďakujem že pre mňa takto vždy zachrániš pár hodín žitia.

milujem keď prídeš na stanicu a čakáš ma tam, hneď vedľa vlaku a najskôr ma nevidíš...a vždy som nenormálne hrdá že si tam kôli mne, pre mňa. vždy.

milujem keď spolu v aute počúvame moje CDčko s"africkými" pesničkami- vždy snívam o tom že sme spolu na ceste do Afriky a stretneš moje deti a budeš ich mať tak veľmi rád ako máš rád mňa.

milujem ako spolu chodíme v zime na večerné lyžovanie, len my dvaja.

milujem ako sa cestou domov zo stanice zastavíme po mlieko z automatu a ako je to len pre nás lebo nikto iný to nechce piť :D

milujem ako spolu pozerávame filmy - už sme dlho žiaden nevideli,...musíme zas začať...

milujem ako sme celý tvoj svet - a ty si celý náš svet...

summer snack

2011-06-17T11:41:00.003+02:00

contrary to popular belief, I'm not stuck studying at home all summer.
no.
today, I went for lunch to Greece.

what a lucky duck I am! I'm sure many of you can only dream about traveling to Europe, but I live here...for us, young european students with no income whatsoever and no time for part-time jobs, Greece isn't that far away - just a hop from here...oh, don't get me wrong, we don't do that every day - most days I'm just too lazy to get out of my PJs so I stay at home...

now, enough of that sarcasm...back to studying....

(good thing we had left-overs in the fridge, waiting to be processed into authentic Greece salad with traditional Slovak sheep cheese and all...)

Washcloth for Africa - PATTERN

2011-06-16T21:13:00.006+02:00

I have a PDF file with the pattern (for free) and I will send it to you - just leave a comment with your e-mail address.

I WILL NEVER PUBLISH ANY COMMENT WITH E-MAIL ADDRESS AND WILL ONLY USE YOUR e-MAIL ADDRESS TO SEND YOU THE PATTERN

(-all comments have to be approved by me before they appear on the site)

I check my e-mail address and my website several times every day and I will send you the pattern ASAP, but please give me a couple of hours to send it - I sleep and have real life (apart from blogging and knitting)

have fun with the pattern :)

ok, you people - YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME AT LEAST SOME WAY TO CONTACT YOU AND SEND YOU THE PATTERN!!! YOU KEEP FORGETTING TO INCLUDE YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESSES!!! EEEK...

this and that

2011-06-16T18:06:00.006+02:00

- I didn't write a decent post for a long time now - did I ?
and here's another one with little bits and pieces of my life
it's too hot to write something serious anyway...

-here's what happens to your faux-hawk when it grows out and you do nothing to it for a couple of days...
-right - I was "babywearing" Winnie all day at the zoo

-sis was here and we had fun...(I should have been studying all day but ...)

-~~I finished writing half of the pattern for the "washcloth for Africa" ...you'll just have to wait few more days for the finished pattern.~~ it's done - if you want it I'll send you a PDF file, just leave me your e-mail address in the comment - if I don't have it yet.

(I will NOT publish the comment here if you include your e-mail address and will never use it for anything else than sending you the pattern)

-I'm pretty sure I need new glasses. I know I had an appointment with the eye doctor couple of months ago but...

-mom got me some Ovomaltine in Swiss - and let me tell you, it's all I've been drinking since sis brought it over here. That stuff is delicious - I'm never going back to the regular instant cocoa.

-did you know that...

{quote from this blog}

that.... a good thing right?

well, not so much if you're in love alone ...

my first washcloth

2011-06-15T15:57:00.002+02:00

I've knitted my first washcloth ever!
-after knitting a vest, mittens, hat etc.
-yes, I know people usually start by knitting washcloths when they are learning how to knit, but so far I didn't know where I would use it.

now I know. Washcloths are perfect for bucket showers. And where do you take bucket showers?
in africa people!
and so I made my own pattern because I couldn't find any chart with the map of africa online...
and it came out pretty nice :)
I'll write the pattern down and post it somewhere...

still not reading anything but school books - not worth posting :P
_______

what are you reading/knitting/crocheting right now? :)

recently..

2011-06-13T16:59:00.005+02:00

* knitted my first washcloth ever (making my own patters - as always)

*studying for anatomy exam (and all the other exams)

*wishing I could drop everything and live the life I want to live

*studying for anatomy exam

*mixing cheap raspberry soda with energy drinks

*listening to "Ode to a nightingale" by John Keats

*having lots of bad-hair-days

{quote from this blog}

*solving rubik's cube a lot

*freezing bottles full of strawberry water=for strawberry "slushies" kind of

*thinking and rethinking and deciding and dreaming and wishing and finding courage to do what makes me happy in life. Because we all CAN do what would make us happy, it just takes lots of courage to make the first step.

I remember when we went bungee-jumping with sis and daddy. The man who set it all for us told me: "I can't push you, you have to make the step yourself" And I did it, and it felt beautiful. All it took was one tiny step, the rest was easy.

*also, since yesterday I'm no longer immune to Typhoid ( - yup, it's been 2 years yesterday since they poked my arm and I got vaccination for Typhoid and Yellow fever)

WANTED

2011-06-11T15:39:00.005+02:00

if you know him, let him know I'm waiting right here ;)

...some pople say a man like this doesn't exist. I'm sure he does. That's why I'm single - waiting for him.

but geeez he could hurry up.

easy-peasy-while-in-the-shower-cake

2011-06-09T22:12:00.006+02:00

sometimes, but only sometimes,

when I go to take my evening shower

I put a cake into the oven

and let it bake.

very responsible - I know

it has chewy bottom layer full of apples, dried plums and raspberry oatmeal

top layer is just ridiculously sweet - but brown sugar is a healthy choice right?

I did follow a recipe - it started with a cup of flour...then I lost it and improvised like always...

it's good. too good to wait till breakfast. that's why I ate two generous slices and drank two cups of ice-cold milk.

yarn along -summer storms

2011-06-08T11:47:00.004+02:00

I've been crocheting again - yesterday - still the same sweater - now working on the sleeves.

Today, no more crafting, just studying again (and posting photo here).

I've been praying a lot lately and I have this awesome book of prayers for children it's old and it's in French - so I practice what I've learned in high school a bit.

also it's really hot here - all the time and so I sleep under my quilt (it's white from one side and it's really thin - perfect for summer nights) so I thought I'll include it in my photo :)

- and a summer storm almost every day...

what are you reading/knitting/crocheting these days?

I dream of...

2011-06-05T09:50:00.007+02:00

... summer vacation with sis

... longer (at least 48hours long) days

... having just one year to do what I really want to do

(now, it makes sense- why so many people take a year off before uni)

... sharing my friday-night chapatti with my boys

... the feeling of (last) clean tee you put on after bucket-shower

... mama Nancy's chai

... walking barefoot again

... less studying, more life

... being happy once again

... falling in love (with the right one this time)

... marrying a man I love and raising our kids in Africa - teaching them about God and real life

... orange popsicles (sadly we don't have any)

... 10 hours long flight back.. (can you imagine how much knitting I could do?)

... keeping my hair short forever (but I'll grow it out again don't worry)

what are you dreaming of? - inspired by

4 Little Men and Girly Twins

this moment - last photo with long hair

2011-06-03T14:52:00.003+02:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

2011-06-01T13:24:00.007+02:00

I didn't knit or crochet this week - still stuck with school stuff.

for those of you who asked - yes, I'm still studying for exams and they might not end sooner than in august - that depends on LUCK mainly...and if you could maybe, say a prayer or two, that would really help...

I took out my old crochet project "sweater-to-be" and I fell in love with the yarn again :)

reading - anatomy books - over and over...not fun.

-drinking lots of water and making lots of ice cubes these days.

it's hot. yucky hot.

and someone got a new haircut! I did it! and I'm pretty proud of myself.

I'm sure everyone remembers prince M. with long hair...well, now he has his summer cut and uff it took us almost an hour to comb out all the tangles - but it was wort it.

I dare to say he's even cuter than before ;) but shhhh that's a secret!

BEFORE

AFTER

view from (up) here

2011-05-30T21:44:00.007+02:00

after many photos, some of them...

...too dark...

...showing how my hair may or may not look today...

...nothing, but window curtains...

...photos of my odd feet...

...photos too bright...

...too blurry...

...photos of dirty mirror...

...photos where I look amazed by nothing particular - just life in general...

...photos of me looking up...

...not looking at all...

...still not looking...

...nope,not a chance...

...I bring you the ~~perfect~~ most normal photo of...

...the view from up here

Warm sun and wind in my ear

We'll watch the world from above

As it turns to the rhythm of love...

...

what's the view from your POV right now?

/bad light, I know, but didn't want to use flash+I like the christmas lights on the background. And yes, I should be studying so ttfn/

every night

2011-05-29T22:13:00.008+02:00

it is hot outside

summer air boiling

with last breath of today's sun

and mosquitoes, fused with white stars.

but the sun is gone

all we have left is black darkness

and stray dogs running behind out backs

they are close.

closer than you think

their fur lightly brushing over our bare skin

there is sunburn on your shoulder

I see it in last flames of the candle

standing on the table,

wax running down the soda bottle

and I wish I could kiss the pain away.

We sit together on avocado tree,

empty swing slowly moving in tonight's breeze

mosquitoes buzz around out ears

our dusty knees touching

I would fall into the sky

if you did not hold me

the cold is here,

slowly creeping in our way,

we run, laughing

with the last taste of ginger ale on our lips

carefree, for a little while I forget about the hunger

and when you shut the gate of the orphanage

and Grace turns out the last lights in the kitchen

world is suddenly right

we are where we should be

do not close the door

no need to lock the universe out

let the little children come to us,

if dreams should chase them out of their beds

the coldness is almost here,

you take your last chance

and pull the covers over our home,

shading us from the cruelty of foreign

fathers sing outside, far away

and somewhere in the darkness

little child wakes his mother,

hungry. Will he be fed?

and you can not change

any of the injustice happening there

out of your reach

but try anyway, I will go with you

to the end of the world

and we will never stop.

I wake up and we start new day

same as yesterday

and every night

the world will be right.

GIVEAWAY -only 5days left

2011-05-28T12:58:00.006+02:00

so I thought I would remind you about the giveawy! - there are only 5 days left so if you didn't enter yet, you should do so!

to enter - simply leave a comment >>>>>>HERE <<<<<<

(more info in the post - just read :)

GOOD LUCK!

do you remember?

2011-05-27T19:30:00.003+02:00

you remember this kid - right?

kid who let her friend cut off 10 inches of hair, kid who had big dreams, kid who decided to go and went, not knowing how much will change, not realizing she will leave the child-herself back there, forgotten.

{me ~ night before the flight ~ with M.I.A and Evan}

yes, I still stay up until midnight reading Harry Potter and eating popsicles for dinner (and breakfast) if grown-ups leave me home alone, I still wear non-matching socks sometimes and do lots of other silly things, but I'm not longer the kid from the picture.

I no longer remember the kid.
which is odd - because I remember being small and sitting outside and daddy picking wild flowers and bringing them to me. I remember I was worried about not having enough flowers, and as he kept bringing me more and more and there I was in heaven because I fully relied on Dad and I knew he will always find more flowers for me.

I was four, maybe five back then. I remember the flowers were purple and yellow.

and yet, I can't remember the kid from two years ago, the kid who didn't worry about her 24 kids every day, the kid who didn't cry every time she smelled smoke - because back then, smoke didn't remind her about Grace and her tiny kitchen with big black pots full of githeri.

I don't remember the kid with many dreams. I don't remember the dreams. I only know there were many of them.

Now I only dream about one thing, almost every night. And I can tell you I hate waking from that dream.

do you remember the kid with many dreams? I hope you do, because I can't.

things I'm loving...

2011-05-26T23:09:00.007+02:00

I've been feeling pretty sad lately - blue, blue blue.
Even though blue is my favorite color, I don't like it in my heart ...
and then I went to this blog
and saw this:

and there are many many (I have to stop repeating words) things I'm lovin' right now and I don't feel that blue anymore...now it's more like a turquoise - that's better right?
anyway, things I'm lovin'

certain tree-huggers (who share apples with me)

...

random photos I find on my memory card after I let other people use my camera

...

my bag (basket) from Africa

and my (not so) new haircut which looks like this in the morning and which I keep the same way all day

(yes that's a popsicle for breakfast - get over it! I'd make popcorn but we don't have a microwave)

lovin' the fact that you can hang out

in the same ol'wife-beater all day just because it's summer

...

and of course mommy, daddy, sis and all the family, and friends and people and my kids and trains, I love trains!

...

lovin'my old journal from Africa

over which I cried a lot today

missing all the precious moments of morning cold and always present hunger

missing my kids, but being grateful

I had the opportunity to meet them

lovin' the red dust stuck on the pages

lovin' every tear that run down my cheek, because they reminded me how lucky I am and

how much loved I am.

yarn-along Ginny Weasley's vest

2011-05-25T01:00:00.004+02:00

I finally found some time for knitting. And I can tell you it feels good. It was a quick project . it took only two days and I love it.

I named it Ginny Weasley's vest because I think it looks like something Molly would knit for her youngest.

like always - I didn't follow any pattern. I just made it up as I knitted.

started at the back (which is all orange with a little white on top and little purple at the bottom)

and I continued by knitting the two sides of the front at the same time)

at the end I added white edges (knitted at the bottom and crocheted at the rest of the vest)

and two turquoise buttons I had at home :)

I used needles too big for the yarn, so it is summer vest, it's 100% cotton and unique because I have absolutely no idea what I did (sorry, no pattern to share, but if you want a vest like this, just knit!)

- 1 skein (50grams) of orange yarn

-1 skein (50 grams) of rainbow yarn

-lil' bit of white cotton for the edges and the top

and here is a little GIVEAWAY! :)

I will be giving away this camera-strap slip cover

before you get too excited I have to tell you it's nothing professional - I'm not a sewing expert and I can hardly keep a straight line, but:

it features Amy Butler fabrics - Love collection

it was made with LOVE

it has little pocket (to keep spare memory cards etc. - it will NOT hold your lens-cover because it's too narrow)

it is 62cm (24.4 inches) long and 5 cm (2 inches) wide

(it fits my CANON camera strap, but if the winner needs wider/longer strap cover - I could make one more (with slightly different fabrics - but still LOVE by Amy Butler - and blue/green)

it has a little crocheted PEACE sign on one end

front is green with red-pink roses and violet flowers

back is dark blue with flower pattern

it is cotton and perfect for summer

made in smoke free and pet-free environment

the giveaway ends next Wednesday (1st June) and I will pick one random winner

( I will ship worldwide - so anyone can enter)

HERE IS HOW TO ENTER:

-leave ONE comment (one per reader)

-please consider donation for this lovely family bringing their two sons home!

(if you decide to donate, let me know - in ANOTHER comment =ANOTHER chance to win! ...I just wanted to share their story with you because I pray for the boys to be home soon with their forever family and we can all help :) - will you pray with me?)

like I said - it's not a professionally made strap-cover, but I tried my best and I hope you'll like it :)

LEAVE A COMMENT (with your blog address or e-mail so I can contact you)

! GOOD LUCK!

life of the cake

2011-05-21T09:59:00.000+02:00

yarn along - let the craziness begin

2011-05-18T13:36:00.003+02:00

crocheting again - finding little bits and odds of time to add one more square to the blanket was really hard recently.

the title of the post does not necessarily refer to the crazy blanket I've started putting together.

The final exams of the year are here! Yay! horrray! (sarcasm)

every second of out free time is now occupied by studying or recovering from the exams or dreaming about sunny outsides. No time to read or create.

that's why I'm crocheting. sometimes.

I miss knitting though and I hope to get back to needles ASAP :)

what are you doing these days?

some (instant) oatmeal goodness

2011-05-15T22:00:00.011+02:00

did you ever find tons of instant oatmeal in your cupboard and had no idea what to do with it?

did you google recipe for instant-oatmeal cookies, got excited and then realized you don't have half of the ingredients?

did you improvise?

I did, and somehow it worked out...

oatmeal cookies aren't rocket science after all.

but they sure are delicious and even a little healthy midnight snack for long nights of studying

1 cup flour
1/2 cup sugar (or less if you don't have enough - like me)
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking powder ( I believe in baking powder and am very generous when I use it so just add as much as you think is good - according to what you believe while baking)
5 or6 packs of instant oatmeal (I had 2 forest fruit flavored and 3 maple syrup-brown sugar flavored packs)
1/2 cup raisins or cranberries or nuts (we had about 10 tiny cranberries left)
1/2 cup butter- melted ( I never know how to measure this so I just guessed - and half of it was PB because it was the closest thing we had - after I used all my butter stash and came up with two poor spoonfuls...peanut butter is a kind of butter after all. )

bake 35OF /175C

long enough

I hope this is all, I don't really remember what I used . but will definitely make them again!

enjoy! :)

living big

2011-05-14T17:56:00.005+02:00

living big doesn't mean you have to leave everything behind and go,

(but maybe you should - it would change a lot and it would take lots of courage but at the end you'd be happy you did it)

it doesn't mean you have to eat ice-cream with big spoon although it would be preferable

(believe me ice-cream wasn't invented to be savored with style and your pinky stuck high in the air - big spoons and sticky cream covered cheeks are the best thing about ice-cream)

living big is enjoying every moment of your life,

living big means feeling blue but still be thankful for waking up today

living big means praising Lord with every step you make.

living big means finding beauty in all the things which seem to be wrecked all the things which didn't go according to our foolish plans

literally.

we walk and I take pictures - that's how it goes around here.

we walk and someone just have to ruin every photo with his blurry hand flying in front of my camera in just the right moment

we stop, I shake my head at that someone and finally take the picture I wanted to take

I come home, upload photos to my laptop and look at them

and for all the squirrels of the world's sake I can not help myself but love the "hand" photo the most

sure it it blurry

sure you can't really see the beautiful building

sure sure...

-but it's the only photo of the day which captures the moment - how we walk across the square and how silly he is and all those little quirks he does - like puting his hand in front of my camera or stealing my bracelet just for a while.

I could save this photo and remember sunny day in town, with nice houses and busy people

I could save this photo and look at the amazing details and dream about old times when all houses were like this...
but I won't.
I will treasure this one,

because it says a story
because it's not perfect
because this one, I want to remember

thoughts on being a mommy + why I read blogs

2011-05-12T18:06:00.000+02:00

people often ask why I read blogs.

because I like to practice my English - I say, and it's just a poor excuse.

I like reading and learning. and I learned so much.

I see moms and dads on the playground close to our place.

I tell myself - I will do that when I have my kids, and I won't do that,

and I will let my kids to climb up the slide

and I won't just sit on the bench listening to my mp3 player reading a magazine,

I will play - just like I played with kids in Ireland,

I will listen and answer their questions,

I won't let them yell at me "mommy!" for two minutes before turning off my ipod and asking what!?

when my kid falls the first thing I'll tell her won't be "be more careful, those clothes were expensive"

I will teach my kids sign language, so they can be friends with the lonely boy on the swing, I ...

and I know I will do the exact opposite sometimes. that's how much I learned :) ...you can plan and dream and set rules but at the end it will all work out differently.

I hope I'll be able to follow all my dreamed-up rules, but sometimes you just have to keep it real babe.

I won't let my kids watch TV - I probably will, to earn a little bit of "free time" for myself - to finally finish cleaning the kitchen.

won't tell them to stop lying on the grass because they could get dirty - I probably will, because it sucks sometimes to finish doing two weeks worth of laundry and see the fresh clean t-shirt you just put on your little one get green stains all over it. No matter how nice the clouds might be that day - sometimes, when I am tired there is absolutely no excuse to ruin the clean piece of clothing just to look at them and see the castles in the sky.

{myself}

that's why I read blogs - to make sure you can be awesome even if you're not perfect, and that not all of your plans have to work out, because you'll learn there are more important things on the world than sticking to the rules :)

-like maybe, keeping your sanity... :)

nom nom nom

2011-05-10T16:42:00.004+02:00

tomato-chick peas-provensal salt - couscous

(I should probably find it some better name...hmmm...eeek - too late - all gone)

UPDATE :

Christine asked for the recipe :) so here it is - not much to share but...

-I cooked the chick-pease separately
(pre-soaked overnight) and then I let it cook with a little bit of salt until it was...well, ready) , but you could use canned chickpeas (I prefer dried because it's cheaper here and it's taste is much better I think)
-in bigger pan boil some water with salt and add cous-cous and turn off the stove (let it absorb all the water - in general - 100ml water = 100g cous-cous) then add 1 tbsp oil and chopped tomato, then heat it again - no need to overcook the tomatoes, I just don't like them crunchy in cooked meals, and add "herbs de provence" and cooked chickpeas...mix together and let it cook for a little while.
ta-da :) - took me about 15 minutes but it's delicious and simple :)

/I have no idea how much chick-peas I used - just finished the pack we had here...but I'm a big chick-peas lover so the more the merrier :D /

yarn along - another cowl, avocados and memories

2011-05-09T10:10:00.003+02:00

this is another cowl - already finished - it's crocheted so it was a quick project :) (using same yarn as for the enterlac one) but I combined it with a little bit of fuchsia yarn :)

it's crocheted in a round and goes around my neck two times :)

I'm not reading anything right now - only school books and that's not interesting enough to share with you :)

....

I want avocado. I NEED avocado. but not the ones they sell at the market, I want one fresh from the tree, one which grew under african sun.

we used to have the best avocado-tomato sandwiches for breakfast - with egg on Wednesday and Sunday... but there's no way how I could make such amazing sandwich here.

We have all ingredients all right, but to really enjoy your breakfast you need to be freezing, your bare feet (covered in red dust) catching first blinks of sunshine and you need a cup of Grace's Chai.

that's how you enjoy avocado sandwiches.

-I have a skein of yarn - avocado color - that's why I remembered this, and I just wanted to share :)

simple like that

2011-05-08T10:00:00.000+02:00

when you pick up your baby, make sure to remember that moment because it's the only time you'll be carrying God in your arms. For the rest of your life it is the other way around.

~Jarka

PS: happy mother's day to every mommy on the world!

yarn-along swap squares

2011-05-02T13:02:00.010+02:00

~ Two of my favorite things are knitting and reading, and the evidence of this often shows up in my photographs. I love seeing what other people are knitting and reading as well. So, what are you knitting or crocheting right now? What are you reading?~ Ginny

I finished the enterlac cowl some time ago, but I didn't show you the finished project - did I?
well, here it is :) rainbow colors, enterlac and (new)short hair in one.

it only took 1 skein (50g = 130m=142 yards) and a little bit of another yarn (when I panicked in the middle because I wasn't sure if it will be long enough) but you should be good with one skein - that is, if you decide do venture into similar adventure ...

-finished-packet-sent home to mom- mom's day is coming!

*here's the end of my official "yarn along post" and now a little bit about my CRAZY SQUARE BLANKET PROJECT

______________

so I've been crocheting lately. a lot. my right wrist hurts. and I still have 18 "small" squares 1 BIG square and endless number of "middle" squares to do. 3 "borders" to knit and then crochet it all together. - are you lost yet?

I know I said it will be next Christmas project, but right now I want it done.
I have 1 skein of green yarn. because I needed something green i there, and now I run out of yellow. it was the one left from my smitten mittens and there was only a bit left...

anyone out there who wants to swap squares for blanket? or just because you can never have enough granny squares?

I was thinking about the way to do this and I think the easiest way will be - if you just leave a comment here telling me you'd like to swap a square or two with me and I'll get to you later and we can figure it out :)

or you can leave your e-mail address in the comment ( if you do I WILL NOT POST THE COMMENT HERE SO NO ONE (just me) WILL SEE YOUR ADDRESS and I will never use it for anything else - just to contact you :)

- I need to know:

-if you have some colorway preferred? red/green/blue/white?

-is it for a boy or for a girl?

(you know, saying blue doesn't mean it's for a boy - a square with blue flower in the middle would be perfect for some little girl, but if it's a blanket for a boy in your life I'd keep it at stripes of some simple pattern etc.)

-any special size needed?

-knitted or crocheted square?

-or any other request you have!

and that's about it... I suggest we leave as much of the "surprise element"in this as we can - it's more fun to wait in anticipation and than see your new square for the first time after opening the envelope :)

AND let's be nice and weave-in all the ends people! - I know I'm crazy enough to leave all the weaving-in for the end but it will be a nightmare once I have to get into it :P so I promise I'll send out only absolutely finished squares ;)

I feel like I lost myself.

2011-05-01T23:05:00.007+02:00

{I want to change the image of our time}

this is what I see on someone's tee pretty often and it pretty much makes my heart stand still. and it's scary feeling...because it says exactly how I feel but it also reminds me I'm not doing what I feel I should be doing right now.

no, don't get me wrong. this is not some idealistic dream about changing the world. no. I just want to change my life in hope that somehow it might help to change someone's life for better. just maybe my life could be useful.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

~Gandhi

This is the quote I've read every day - painted on the wall in the office- where we kept band-aids and other stuff - which I used daily with 24 kids running around...

a couple of weeks ago (maybe more maybe less, that's not important) I stayed alone for the weekend - because everyone went home and I wanted to study so I didn't...and it was so quiet here at our place and I had lots of time for thinking.

and I had that terrible melt-down when I realized how unhappy I am with the way I'm living my life right now and I cried.

I cried like little child. I could almost see myself - the little Jarka I used to be just few years ago when I had blond curls and blue glasses and sometimes I felt like no one loved me - which obviously wasn't true because I was the most loved child on the earth and still am - I dare to say. (hi mom! I hope you know I love you as much as you love me - and even more!)

and I cried. I didn't cry like this for years, decades I'd say (yup, I'm that old already)

I cried so much I almost throw up literally ...eeek TMI ...sorry.

needless to say I didn't learn much that friday, just spent night sitting on the floor of our bathroom and then went to bed and cried myself to sleep. and then woke up with this terrible headache, full nose and tear-stained face. yuck

and that was a big eye-opener for me.

I've been so far away from God lately. I know he's right here next to me, holding my hand and crying because He wants me to feel His hand so much but I don't seem to be able to do it... I don't know why. maybe there's too much stuff in my life, maybe I'm too blue to see His rainbow.

It was so easy to feel Him when I carried Him in my arms, when I shared my dinner with Him every night and when He looked up at me and smiled.and I miss Him.

I'm about to show you a photo of God so get ready - mind you?

here He is...in every one of my kids I saw Him and still see Him.

my mind runs in every direction, I love, I study, I'm sad, I'm lost, and mostly I'm scared and tired.

I feel like running away - home. but how could I?

I would sit in mom's lap and she'd tell me everything will be better tomorrow but she couldn't do that - that would be lying.

they say I should change school if I'm so unhappy. But this is not about school.

Well, it is, a little bit but I'm a vet, I've always been - I just need a paper now to confirm it - so this is not going to change, ...but I just don't know what to do.

I'd need to get away from all this mess and get some change in my life - just for a while, but how could I? if I can barely make it through the weekend when I don't see him for two days...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH476CxJxfg

it's a mess.